weights

suppose that the only real truth
is that i need the weight of
the no and the uncertainty
it drains me and does away with
all that excess space that contains
nothing but the mediocrity of
today and yesterday and i am
perfectly aware that this is not
what is normal or usually acceptable
but i do find great comfort in the
heaviness of this search
for what will make me last
longer this time
because i
have become so weary
of these losers that
misunderstand my win and it is
only when i too succumb that
i fit just for a moment but
the only real truth is that
we lie to gain momentum
because everyone else is slowing
down.