sabes que
apenas me doy cuenta
mis ojos son
dos enormes lagunas
no paran de llorar
las lagrimas sin limite
ya no las siento
solo caen como
mas agua salada
sobre el mar.

te busco
en todo
busco tu cara
tu voz
donde congelo
estos segundos
para ir corriendo
buscándote
a ese lugar
rodeado de rosales
donde nos amábanos

me abres la puerta y ahí
entre la sombra de tus hombros
esta el único universo
donde hay luz
el único sitio que
me quitara este frío

I am leaving you,

You have no soul

How can I love you

When your heart is

The most barren land

I am thirsty and 

Your hands are cupped

But empty 

My back is turned 

And I walk away into darkness

Ground under my two feet but 

There was no path plotted for me

I just went and went

With each foot closer to being

So much further away from

The hollow man with no soul

The weariness in my spine

A gentle whispering 

A reminder

Soon, soon I will arrive

I will get to where I'm destined 

But completely carved out

No roots, no gravity 

Just the drowning victim of

The man with everything 

And nothingness 

june, bring summer.

the dying sun cried into
the crashing moonlit ocean
the dying sun lurched forward
her beaming outpour of
a love lost, a love forgotten

the hot sun, heartbroken light
she dissipated into a constellation
a myriad of tiny explosions
she was large and regal and became small
to recollect and be born again-

breathing new life into a june sky
turning herself a deep tangerine glow
silenting waiting, silently weeping
until she could eclipse her moon love
once more. 

after almost three decades
of hot summers and
that many tepid winters
i realize 

                               i am my own fire.
        the arsonist of my devotion.


your face is the mirage
crystal eyes magnified by
a relentless desert sun
i want to drink from your lips
nourish myself from
your naked body and
the way it grows for me
you fill me, surface level
only liquid, not too deep
what i need when i am too thirsty
parched because i forgot


                          i am my own fire.
 a symphony of burning branches.
roots unencumbered. 

oh, my beloved
please do not fear
for you
 are
already
dead,

they took your soul that night
defiled the creator of
every part of me that
still reflects light onto
this tepid atmosphere

the roots of the ash
our fire left behind
create the smoky
halo of your crown,
king

I never promised to be a marigold 

A crimson compliment to the beating sun 

The ethereal flower that does not cry

Always heated, rarely sunny

With grayish petals that become luminescent against the silver stars 

Belonging to the dusk sky, exploding before another day 

Like glittering shrapnel made of promises and you

good friday.

i think i let it go
when the crescents
were too decayed
to hold in my two
burned and inadequate palms
my hands were not
the proper reservoir for
a love too spoiled

we do not only exist
when the tide is high
ours is not a devotion
that only fares when the
weather is soft and warm
against skin that is so
freckled and tanned by
soaking into the heat

our love went to war and lost
our strategy dreadfully misaligned
too many words, too heavy
there was abundance yet
we were still starved

i will carry you with me
in all the disorderly elements
that compose the layers of chaos
of the woman i am, this lotus
burrowed amongst daffodils and
concrete and lies and songs that
i will never be able to hear again. 

oh look, it is april.
another spring.
new soil.
wildflowers.

cuando siento el amor que te tengo
solo me imagino un pleno paisaje
yo sola flotando sobre todo el perdon
yo sola contra la marea

es tan grande y tan cansado
vivir y vivir y siempre
tener que respetar el pasado
pero
el ayer no es nada, ahi no existo
en ese lugar no tienes a esta mujer
con dos manos hacia el cielo
rogando, pidiendole a la obscuridad

abre los ojos
toma en cuenta
el volcan en mi pecho
la luz de mi lealtad

en esta vida todo se acaba
con el dolor
siempre hay fin.

you showed me the way
to the dark and entangled forest
your arms directed me to the place
where you know i would wait
with every kiss and sigh
you nagivated my demise

i resisted going to that place
where every tree is rooted in
just loving you and adoring
the thorny shrubbery, the roses
a selfish moon that only lives
to eclipse the sun and teach her
she burns too bright, she needs to pay
for the time amongst wildflowers
the past affair with helios himself.

oh

that mindless mermaid

a series of knots and crashing waves

the pinnacle of life and absolution

the last stop and then nothing.

the medusa mermaid

three large stone eyes

but arms that wrap around

until there is no oxygen 

just a dark immensity, onyx

so black you see images

your life rehearsed, repeated

every single lie on the record player

spinning crooked vinyl

your creature lost at sea 

i am just a tumble weed
coasting and riding the turbulent air
of scorching winds and the dusty asphalt
an inundating mix of twigs and branches
somehow growing and still going

sometimes i wonder as i ramble
hitting some hard edges, cracking
where do i go exactly!!

where am i venturing on

I am faint like the wind

That comes and whistles through

The schisms of this jaded daydream 

Like the boat of freedom

Gently sways her way out and 

Into the bejeweled abyss

Held by the sway of waves 

My eternally restless heart

Anchored in the perpetual 

And stubborn core of one

Heavily devoted soul

 

they lied when they said
hell is the afterlife
that inferno is
felt only when the
blood is pumping
your soul dead
but your pulse
is loud
consistent
beating

hell is loss and
having to still
get up every morning
and do all the trivial
and offensive tasks
that keep you
somewhat afloat
even though there
is no more sky
there is no ground

the only thing beneath
my weathered boots is
the bottom of
everything and
a stack of bones.

coffee shops are a great place
to study humanity and all of our
imperfections, subtleties, humor
everyone with apple computers
just sitting there, advertising
headphone tuned in, tuned out
to the fact that the zombie girl
is sitting right next to you
typing, typing, typing
each stroke of these keys is
my lifeguard, i am sinking
but each word gives me some
sense of buoyancy, keep trying

zombie girl keep writing and
this will all have some sense
with each verse you create
a new opportunity for
the light to shine back in

i sit here where we sat
our words stagnant, unimportant
my tea is spiked but no one knows
just enough to take the edge off
just enough to keep the outlet
plugged in and flowing 

glad the sun is out today
i stand outside just to
thaw my bones for a second
eyelashes and cheeks tilted up
toward the brightest bulb
that has shined this week
last time i felt warm inside
was the day before we said bye
just three simple letters that
brought with them the ice age
the cold rush

i have no care to be
the crazy girl standing
in the middle of the road
beaming because
the solar flare never dies
i die you die but
she will shine eternal.

the darkness comes with the night
just as the whiskey cloaks me
and
i lay with comforting shadows

in the moonlit atmosphere
you thrive and dance with me
my smiling face close to yours
in my memories i am
happy
warm
alive
whole

too many tears, so much
of my body curled up
lamenting the existence of
my moon man and me

the washed up urchin
far from her sea
taking the wrong waves
the familiar foam of
her depth and obstacles
is replaced only by
tepid water and salty breaths

the desolate urchin
skilled and solitary
passes the day awaiting
the glow of the purple moon

on a quest for a warmer end
to the terminal frailty that is
thin skin and a soft backbone
expansion with no comfort