i knew i was dying
my eyes were closed and
i could feel the biggest smile
coming over my gray and empty
face.

every inch of my body
was erupting with waves of
euphoria and overwhelming
joy.

nothing hurt, the pain was indicating
that i was leaving this place
forever. to my own personal nirvana
my own dream state.

alone and dead but happy.
death felt better than breathing.
i was dead and finally
alive.