good friday.

i think i let it go
when the crescents
were too decayed
to hold in my two
burned and inadequate palms
my hands were not
the proper reservoir for
a love too spoiled

we do not only exist
when the tide is high
ours is not a devotion
that only fares when the
weather is soft and warm
against skin that is so
freckled and tanned by
soaking into the heat

our love went to war and lost
our strategy dreadfully misaligned
too many words, too heavy
there was abundance yet
we were still starved

i will carry you with me
in all the disorderly elements
that compose the layers of chaos
of the woman i am, this lotus
burrowed amongst daffodils and
concrete and lies and songs that
i will never be able to hear again. 

oh look, it is april.
another spring.
new soil.
wildflowers.

cuando siento el amor que te tengo
solo me imagino un pleno paisaje
yo sola flotando sobre todo el perdon
yo sola contra la marea

es tan grande y tan cansado
vivir y vivir y siempre
tener que respetar el pasado
pero
el ayer no es nada, ahi no existo
en ese lugar no tienes a esta mujer
con dos manos hacia el cielo
rogando, pidiendole a la obscuridad

abre los ojos
toma en cuenta
el volcan en mi pecho
la luz de mi lealtad

en esta vida todo se acaba
con el dolor
siempre hay fin.

you showed me the way
to the dark and entangled forest
your arms directed me to the place
where you know i would wait
with every kiss and sigh
you nagivated my demise

i resisted going to that place
where every tree is rooted in
just loving you and adoring
the thorny shrubbery, the roses
a selfish moon that only lives
to eclipse the sun and teach her
she burns too bright, she needs to pay
for the time amongst wildflowers
the past affair with helios himself.

oh

that mindless mermaid

a series of knots and crashing waves

the pinnacle of life and absolution

the last stop and then nothing.

the medusa mermaid

three large stone eyes

but arms that wrap around

until there is no oxygen 

just a dark immensity, onyx

so black you see images

your life rehearsed, repeated

every single lie on the record player

spinning crooked vinyl

your creature lost at sea 

i am just a tumble weed
coasting and riding the turbulent air
of scorching winds and the dusty asphalt
an inundating mix of twigs and branches
somehow growing and still going

sometimes i wonder as i ramble
hitting some hard edges, cracking
where do i go exactly!!

where am i venturing on

I am faint like the wind

That comes and whistles through

The schisms of this jaded daydream 

Like the boat of freedom

Gently sways her way out and 

Into the bejeweled abyss

Held by the sway of waves 

My eternally restless heart

Anchored in the perpetual 

And stubborn core of one

Heavily devoted soul