Sticky

the passing of time is different this evening
its gradual stretch slower and slower
i stare at the framed nothingness
that adorns these ugly walls
i will never exist here again
within this big space that
contains a tiny piece of my history

the end tonight will signal
the beginning of everything else
that will be thrust upon me
as i take my first few steps alone
abondoning the crutch of familiarity
choosing what is foreign and shiny
new and untouched by the hands
of my boredom with the unjustly mundane
routine that was my life

that was until i packed up
my life inside a brown box
taped three times over as if it
actually matters if the contents
were to be spilled, anyway
i am not attached to any of this
these streets signs that connect
all that was me at some point

a different moon, smaller stars
new air, better strangers
this is what happens
when you deal with opportunity
a huge blind leap

just like that i became
unglued.

6/20/08

Tonight, everything will be different.

William Clarke Wontner

Title: Valeria
Oil on Canvas
Size 25 x 21.1 in

A couple of you that know me personally often say I underestimate people, or situations. You forgot to remind me that I can also overestimate... which is far worse.

Finally.

After over fifty years together, Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin will be legally married in San Francisco today. The fact that gay marriage was ever an issue to begin with is baffling. How much progress have we made really? Small steps I suppose. It's just embarrassing that in the year 2008, such a simple human right should be a matter of controversy. Still, I congratulate the victory.

Maybe marriage is another one of those things we do not appreciate because it comes with no effort, all you have to do is decide to walk to the courthouse and that's it! Well, that is if you are a "straight" couple. People either abuse marriage and do not respect what it symbolizes, or they shit all over it because it is an "outdated institution" and have become so disillusioned with the divorce trends.

Can some please accurately define marriage for me?

Barber Shop

I think I may have written about him before... but maybe I haven't. For the past year, every single morning, I walk past a little barber shop on my way to work. I stop to chat with the old man that owns the shop every time I walk by... once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I don't know much about him, and he does not know much about me. All that I know is that seeing him puts a skip in my step. His smile is so genuine, he always has something nice to say. Every. Single. Day. He tells me that seeing me makes the rest of his day better. Ditto, I say. I mean it.

Today I told him I am leaving. I felt very sad while doing so. I didn't think I would, but I truly did. He told me he wishes me the best of luck, though he hates to see me go. He said I am taking his sunshine with me. I told him we didn't have to say goodbye yet, that we still have four more days. He laughed then, and responded... "I never say goodbye. We will cross paths again. I promise." He looked so certain while he spoke, looking me straight in the eye.

I hope he is right.

yard sale

they walk around, meaningless chatter
hands touching what was once so personal
bright pieces of paper stuck on these objects
proudly displaying bargain prices
completely stripping these things of their
true value, the dust has not even settled
the books, the chairs, all of the clothes
no one stops to wonder if parts of her
still linger in the fabric
or in between the pages of words
that kept her company
the pieces of paper are removed as people
greedily clutch what does not belong to them
a stranger's treasures, all that is left
the house is emptier now than it ever was
full of people comfortable in oblivion

that last day, in those final moments
the heaviness of giving up
and how light the burden felt
after the trigger was pulled
the walls will remain
the only witnesses of the
loneliest exit.